Cabin fever

What do you do with your kids when they are sick and have been stuck in the house for what seems like forever.....Let them go deep sea diving!

Something to think about

Johnley: "I'm not going back to Haiti cuz Santa Claus doesn't know where Haiti is."

A year of Johnley

The adoption agency I used for Johnley works with a couple in Haiti with the last name of Fontana. The village where Johnley lived was named for them (so was this blog). I have been asked to write a letter for them so they can see in writing how 'their kids' are doing. I don't know much about them except that they had a day school down there and after encountering hundreds of children begging on the street, they realized they needed to open an orphanage. So they did. They began working with Holt when Haiti opened it's doors to international adoptions.

So I thought I would kill two birds with one stone, as it were, and add this to my blog.

Tomorrow is Johnley's finalization day. It is basically just a formality, but exciting none-the-less. I can't believe he has been here for a year already. So he has been through one round of the holidays, rituals, etc. This year when he anticipates Christmas, it will be from some type of memory, something to go on. It was never more clear to me how many holidays we celebrate than when I saw them through Johnley's eyes.

He has got the daily life down pat. He and Sammy take turns being the boss. He does plenty of stuff on his own. (he is always the one to ask to use the Wii to play the Mario racing game...so Sammy just watches.) He joins Sammy on these elaborate role playing games. First they put costumes on - usually the Power Rangers. Then they put clothes on over them, button down shirts because they have to go to work. Then Johnley is the Dad and Sammy is the son. Dad takes son on a tour of the house. They collect stuff they need for work and it goes on from there.

He now believes that daily dessert is a God given right, and has been known to walk through the door after a birthday party where he consumed 10lbs. of sugar and ask "What are we having for dessert?"

He knows that I lay with Sammy until he falls asleep (which is usually 2 minutes) and then I lay with Johnley until he falls asleep (which is usually a little longer than 2 minutes!). He knows that he can pick his own breakfast, and that I have become accustomed to preparing chicken noodle soup or chili for breakfast.

He knows that he has to take turns picking out the movie and using the remote - for inside the house or in the car. He knows where all his clothes are and how to get dressed. He also knows Mommy will dress him if he asks.

When he first came here he had many tantrums. They were all because he didn't understand. They were also all because he thought he was getting the raw end of the deal. He was (and is) very aware of fairness, and any perceived unfairness will be met with anger, crying, throwing stuff (usually pillows). When he first came here, before he could speak the language, he would take his clothes off when he was angry. At one point he would pee on the floor. I assumed that was because it was the only thing he had control over.

Now he gets angry and yells. But it is getting better. He is usually able to almost immediately stop and come and get a hug. He says he is sorry and will try harder to be good. Mostly he is happy. He has the most beautiful laugh.

He loves watching TV and playing computer games. He loves to dance. He loves kisses and hugs. He loves his sister and brother. And he loves his friends, of which he has many. He loves jumping on the trampoline and playing on the swings. At the beginning of the summer, he would only play on the steps of the pool. By the end of the summer he was jumping of the diving board, swimming like a fish.

He loves playing, but is very intimidated by groups. He is on Sammy's soccer team, but will only do the practice, is not comfortable playing with the other kids. Recently we went to a friends farm where he was not afraid to ride the horse, but was afraid to the potato sack race.

He is learning his colors, numbers, letters with enthusiasm. He likes saying what we are thankful for everyday, and will remind us if we forget to do it. He loves riding his bike (he got a new one for his birthday). He loves playing on the swing sets and wrestling with his father and his brother.

He doesn't remember his birth language, he forgot that almost immediately, but he has a picture of his birth mother. I don't think he really remembers her, but sometimes he pretends he does. Its nice for him to know there is someone else out there in the world, thinking of him and loving him.

It has been a year of learning, of loving. Of trials and triumphs. He has made a permanent place for himself in this family. It has been of year of happy, of sad, of confused and comfortable.

Tomorrow is Johnley's finalization day, his day of permanence. He will forever and always be a part of our family. He is already a part of our hearts.

He woke up at 5:30 am today and began calling Sammy a 'STUPID MORON' because he realized that Sammy was sleeping next to me and he wasn't. At 5:30am I was wondering what would happen if we didn't show up tomorrow to sign the papers!

I told him I was writing about him. I told him I was writing about him being angry. He said "You are?" "Why don't you write about me being cute?"

So here he is cute.

These past few weeks have been very difficult with Johnley. Well really, the past few months. Well really, this past year! But lately its been harder than usual. I'm not sure why. I'm not sure if we are just tired of it, or if it is actually getting worse or what. But if we think it is harder on us, it is even harder for Johnley. He is struggling so much now to figure out his place. He has also been very sad lately. He will just burst into tears and come running for a hug. He said the other day he was going to go back to Haiti when he grows up. I can't even imagine what he is going through. Maybe its time to read some of those books about children grieving.

My very wise friend Pam has pointed out to me that each of my children need some time alone with me. And she is right. I need to start taking them out seperately and spend some time with them alone. That would probably do wonders for both Johnley and Sammy, but especially Johnley.

The never ending Halloween

We have been celebrating Halloween for two weeks! We carved pumkins, made chocolate lollipops and withches (or are they bats, I can't tell!)

First we went to a costume birthday party as ninjas.

Next we went to a celbration at Georgian Court College. We changed to thing 1 and thing 2.

Then it was a halloween party at church.

Then a halloween party with the homeschoolers. Now we have switched to Power Rangers!

Then trick or treating with a group of friends.

Then trunk or treating at the Brick soccer complex

Then trick or treating on our street.

Then trick or treating with our cousins.

Then visiting Aunt Teri...

and Aunt Ilene.

Finally, halloween is OVER!