Dear Diary, today is the first day of the new year and I missed it! I slept until 3:30 pm. I think my body was trying to tell me something! Of course, now it is past 11 and I am wide awake, which doesn't bode well for tomorrow!
I have discovered something about myself recently. I don't like drinking anymore. I think I haven't liked it for some time but I did it anyway, I'm a little slow on the uptake. Now I don't do it so I don't smoke and I realize that I don't miss it. I have no desire to drink. That is not to say I have no desire to have my mind altered, because that part I have always liked, I just don't like to drink. I am such a victim of peer pressure, tho, that I will probably continue to drink when everyone else is, but I could see myself never drinking again. This probably is not that big of a deal to some people, but almost everyone I know drinks and the main ingredient in the majority of my get-togethers with people is alcohol. And people that drink really don't like it when everyone is not drinking. Why is that?
I went to a party last night and most everyone was drinking. It was very interesting to be one of the few that was not. No one was very drunk, but I guess that is why people want you to drink, so there are no sober witnesses!
Ah, well, on to better things.
Johnley and I are really struggling. He is constantly testing me and I am not amused. I keep wondering what he was like in his own environment. The only thing that we were told about him is that he is very stubborn and to just wait him out and he will come around. I have noticed in the pictures that we have from the village before Nick went down, he is pouting in alot of them. He initially says no to everything. And as soon as he sees he is not going to get us mad, and he might lose out, he says ok. He is not in some of my Christmas pictures because of that. I had a tough time with the pictures I took of the three of them because if he was upset, there was no talking him out of it, like I could with Sammy.
It is also interesting that he is not afraid of Sammy. The two of them were playing tonight and chasing and wrestling each other and he was just having fun, not at all worried that he might get hurt. I'm not explaining this right, but it struck both Nick and I that it was unusual.
I know he is just trying to find his way. Tonight when I was reading them a story, I read from the one Johnley picked first and he said he didn't want Sammy looking at his book. I told him that was mean and I was reading to both of them. He got mad and turned away. I kept on reading and he begrudgingly rolled back over to look. But when I was done, he wouldn't say good night to Sammy! Of course they both passed out in 10 seconds because they were up till 1 am last night!
He made me laugh earlier tho. We put the bunk beds back up in their room to make more space, and Johnley sleeps on the bottom. Last night our bed was too crowded so I slept in Johnleys bed. This evening for whatever reason, they decided to straighten their covers and Johnley starts mumbling about how he doesn't want Mommy to sleep in his bed any more, that she should sleep in Sammys!! I cracked up, told him, how about if I sleep in MY bed?
Oh well, Sammy just woke up and is looking for me, I must go. Good night.
2 comments:
I must add my theories on drinking!
Once you get to the middle-aged female point in life where you'll say any damned thing, there is no need to drink.
So just blurt it out, baby, and avoid the extra calories.
I would have to say, that I have enjoyed parties without having a single drink. I attend most parties without Quinn(he has real social issues, extremely antisocial, but not in a mean way. I have come to learn that he really panicks.), so I cannot drink. I am the driver. I also chose to not drink at my brother's wedding. I had a great time. I wanted to remember every second of the wedding. I need to drink when I am entertaining. It is just so overwhelming for me.
Love,
Megan
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