Roots

Sammy is sick again. Again. Ugh! Last night his fever went up to 105. Kinda freaked me out. He woke up at 4 and it was up to 102. He is sleeping on the couch now. Poor guy. I don't understand why he is getting sick all the time. I'm really bummed because I was supposed to go to our first 4-H gathering today AND run the little kids section. I'm gonna see if Nick can stay home, but I'm pretty sure the answer is gonna be no. If Sammy feels better, (like he did yesterday) I will go anyway, but otherwise, I'll just have to pass.
I just watched this amazing program on PBS called African American Lives 2, where historians trace the roots of famous people, to when the slaves where freed. It is some amazing stuff. Alot of people can't know their roots because of slavery, the history is gone forever. And I realize that my kids have the same problem. There is a great chance that they will never be able to trace their family tree. That is sad.

I don't know my family roots. I don't know how far I could go back because my father was adopted. I don't mind that so much, but I wish my parents shared more of their history with me. They probably would have a little, if I had spent a minute acting like I was interested. I think if you found out that your ancestors did something amazing, against all odds, that would empower you to believe that you could overcome hardships.

So the next logical step? Make something up for my children! But I can't even do that. My story would mean nothing because it's not their blood. And what the hell could I say about their birth parents? I couldn't make something up in case they decide to find them when they get older. Hmmm. Maybe I can make up some story about them when they were babies! Like they crawled 10 blocks to get something to eat! Okay, that’s a little sick. Never mind.

And now that I think about it, my mother was German. It would be just my luck to find out something awful about my mothers family. So I wonder if that would affect you, if you find out that one of your ancestors did something horrible.

They asked one of the guests on the show what they loved most about being black, and he answered how much and how hard they love. I have seen first hand the black culture of love and family. There is such a strong sense of community, of female strength, of absolute belief in the church. That is definitely something my children don't have, and that is sad.