New plan

I am now posting what ever I want...to hell with who reads this.

Yesterday, my daughter broke my heart. We were at the boys soccer game and Erin and I were discussing going to the movies today to see Sex in the City. Now today is a ceremony at church for Taishauna's Coming of Age (COA) class. I guess it's kind of like a confirmation. Anyway, the church has made a very big deal of this and I thought out loud that maybe I should do something with T for the day. I asked her if she would like to go see the movie with myself, Erin and Erin's mom (my sister) Tobey. She said she didn't want to go see that movie but maybe everyone could come back to the house after.

And my heart broke. This kid wants family as much as she wants breath. And she got so ripped off. Both her mother and father are the cast-offs of their families so by default so are the kids. My kids are adopted, and black, and home-schooled. I don't know which of those points (if any) have anything to do with it, but mine and Nicks siblings do not seem to think of themselves and aunts and uncles of my kids.

It is really the oddest thing. I am still their kids aunt, and their grand children's great aunt. But its like they are neighbors or something to my kids. It doesn't bother me until something like this happens. I can't get Tobey to come over here just because Taishauna wants her too. I couldn't invite her to Taishauna's ceremony...it's just not done.

Now mind you, I went to all her kids ceremonies. Hell, I planned the parties.

I don't know what I'm trying to say...and I'm not doing a very good job saying it, anyway!

So I called Tobey and asked her if we could all go out to dinner, for Taishauna. She said sure. I feel like I have to pay for it now, which is fine.

I will do anything in the universe so my daughter doesn't have a heart that hurts.