conversations....

M: Nick, maybe you should take the kids on a train ride today, while I am out shopping with the girls.

S: We are going on a train???!!! (runs to the kitchen) Johnley, we are going on a train!

S: (back with me) Can you go on the train with us?

M: If you want me to go, we will have to do it tomorrow, but thats okay, cuz we can do it to celebrate your birthday.

S: Wait, is this a real train?

M: No, it is a train at Allaire State Park.

S: Then I want to go today.

M: Why?

S: Because it is a park.

M: and you don't need me to go with you?

S: No, I thought it was a real train. I would be scared. I would think that Daddy was a bad guy and he was taking us to his secret lab to turn us into bad guys!

pause...

S:Do you remember when I thought you were a giant lizard and I wouldn't cuddle with you?


Gee, a little too much TV, perhaps?

kudos to the govt.

This isn't something you hear very often, but the govt. needs to be commended. I'm sitting here watching Anderson Cooper in Haiti, and I realized that just 3 weeks after the earthquake, Avena was flown to America. This happened because of the governments of both countries. For all the red tape and govt. corruption you hear about (and know about!) it took a multitude of agencies from both governments to make this happen.
Our government decided to give humanitarian visas to all kids that were in process of adoption before the earthquake. They set up a registration protocol and my adoption agency, Holt International (Awesome agency!) submitted all the paperwork in the proper format. Pulled some all nighters. Once the paper work was approved by our government, it went to Haiti. (not sure of the details here). Monsour Masse, who runs the Holt Fontana Village, walked the paperwork to the Hiatian Embassy. It was submitted on Thursday, 1/28/10. It was completed on Monday, 2/1/10. How often does that happen? This includes the Haitian government visually seeing each and every kid before they get on the plane. Then travel arrangements were made with the military, and the kids were transported to Miami.

At that point, US Immigration had to process each child's paperwork at the airport. The kids are then relocated to a group home, where they are fed, washed, loved and played with - say what you want about social services - they stepped up. While the kids are sleeping the agency in charge of refugee status worked through the night to process their paperwork, the goal being all the kids done by 5pm, cuz then another plane load comes in. All this while dealing with children who don't speak english and are traumatized, and adoptive parents from all over the country who are traumatized!

So many people, in both countries, worked nonstop for the care and safety of these children. And to think it took days, rather than the normal years it takes. Amazing.

I also need to tell a story here...
There was an orphanage in Haiti, not sure if they suffered damage from the earthquake or not, that had 17 American parents fly down to help with the children. The orphanage director, 17 parents, and 39 children stayed at the Haitian Embassy for five days. (I may have some of the details messed up here, but the numbers are close if not accurate.) So finally they get their papers approved. The director, the 17 parents and 39 children get their travel papers. No wait. 1 eight year old boy's paperwork isn't complete. Everyone else has travel papers. And they have to go. This 1 boy has to stay. His two sibling are going. The orphanage director is going. Everyone else is going. And they do. They leave. He is left at the Embassy. The marines take him under their wing. They do not let him out of their site. They take him by the hand and take him where ever they go. Until his paperwork goes through and he comes to Miami with our kids. And he is king of the plane cuz he is with the marines - the only kid allowed to walk around! And he is immediately united with his adoptive parents and the paperwork is done at the door! He went home that very night!

Tear jerker, right?

I am crying as I am typing.

But that is a touching story about someone who is being taken care of right now. Someone who made it out and will be okay. Think of all the kids and parents who are living in the tent cities in Haiti. Just saw that 95% of all displaced persons do not have access to latrines.

Tuesday

We woke up Tuesday and started getting ready to go to Good Sports. Everyone was up and making noise, and Avena was still in bed. This was odd because she is usually one of the first ones up. I went in her room and called her, but her head was under her blanket. She was sleeping on top of her quilt, just under her blanket. Where I thought she was getting up and making her bed right away, she has been sleeping on top of her quilt!
I wondered if I should even bring her to good sports. She seemed so miserable by the end of ice skating on Monday, I felt so bad about doing that to her again. Taishauna and Avena had plans to go shopping with Teri after Good sports so we stopped at Teri's house on the way to see if she wanted to go early, but she couldn't. So on to Good Sports it was.
Avena did not want to eat breakfast. She has been eating less and less since she has been here. We get to Good Sports and she immediately jumped in and started running around. She participated in every sport and she was good! Everyone kept coming up to us and telling us how good she was.
We left Good Sports and hurried home to eat before Teri came, and Avena did not want to eat. I figured it was okay since Teri would probably take them out to eat and maybe she could find something she liked.
The boys and I ate quickly and then met Joe at the Howell hill for sledding. We ran into some homeschoolers there and the boys had a blast. They tried their new friend's snowboard and did really well!
When we got home we found out that Teri had to cut the shopping trip early, she didn't feel well. They were able to fit the shopping in, but not lunch. Taishauna said when they got home, she offered Avena everything she could think of, but Avena refused everything and reached for the chips.
So by 5pm all she had eaten was chips. We had dinner shortly thereafter, our version of Surf Tacos chicken tender tacos. But all she ate was a little bit of chicken.
She was very excited about what she got while out shopping tho, a shirt, a necklace, a bracelet and a ring. She was very happy!
So all in all, it was a good day. She went to the food store with Nick last night and he picked up some food she pointed to, so we will see how that goes.
It looks like we will a be snow bound today and maybe even tomorrow, so we won't have to be running around, it should be nice.

first few days

Sugar and TV. That is what Roxanne advised me to give Johnley when he first came.

And it turns out it works especially well for teenagers!

Avena has spent alot of time the past few days watching TV. She loves the Disney channel. She laughs out loud at all the physical comedy, so loud that the rest of the house cracks up!

She is a very picky eater, but loves sugar. She doesn't like steak, rice, apples, oranges, potatoes, ravioli, spahgetti...except when she does! But she likes cookies, cupcakes, candy and chips of all shapes and sizes.

So she fits right in here at this house, because we can't sit down to a meal without most of the kids saying, eeeewwww, what is that????. Nick said Avena saw a picture of mashed potatoes and indicated that she liked it, so we made it for dinner. She took one little taste and made a face and shook her head. I told Nick that she is probably just saying yes cuz she doesn't understand him!

She is very, very quiet. She has a little of that teenage pouty thing going on, but mostly she is happy and smiling.

We took her to skating with us today. Again, Nick thought she said she wanted to try so he got her skates. Guess what? She took one look at those skates and said no way! She met about 10000 people today, including Joe and Dina and the kids. She was just a little overwhelmed, but she was a good sport about it. We exchanged valentines with the homeschoolers today and she was a REALLY good sport about that! Talk about culture shock! Everyone was so wonderful and welcoming. It was really great.

So far it is going well. She seems very comfortable around the house, anxious to help with dishes or laundry. She knows where everything is that she needs. She really seems to like hanging with Taishauna, so they have been playing games and doing crafts. Avena is very shy, and self-concious, but I guess anyone in her situation would be.

Finally...

Okay, so we paint the bedrooms. We move Taishauna into hers. We haven't moved the boys into theirs yet. I wake up Monday morning and decide to try and hang wallpaper border instead of putting my house back together...cuz that makes sense, right? That afternoon the boys and I go over to Jeaneans to finalize our lesson plans for our first day of co-op. I get a call at 3:45 from the adoption agency. Wants to know if I got the email saying I had to fly to Miami the next day to pick up Avena. WHAT??

Seriously, I didn't hear another word she said! I pack up the kids, go to Surf Taco to pick up Taishauna, go home. Yeah, sure, I can be ready by tomorrow morning!

Call Joe and tell him I am dropping the kids off at 6:15. And he and Dina say, "of course, no problem, don't worry about a thing." It's like a dream to have someone in your life like that....Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Spend the night (until 2:30) putting the house back together, packing for me and the kids, getting the stuff for the co-op together so Jeanean can pick it up and running to the store to buy things for Avena.

Really we thought we had a few more days. The papers were dropped off at the Haitian embassy on Thursday. In what universe would they be ready for travel on Monday!

Anyway, we hop on a plane to Miami Tuesday morning. We are told that the children are coming in Monday evening and we will have to work with the refugee representative at the airport. We go to the hotel first to check in (and in full disclosure I had to color my hair!) We get emails and phone calls...we don't know when the flight is coming in, we don't know where the flight is coming in!, the airport people won't talk to anyone until the plane is in-route, etc.

At 3:00 we decide to go to the mall to pick up more stuff for Avena and get something to eat. We take a taxi, shop a little, order pizza and sit down to eat. I get a phone call. The plane has left, it will land at 6:20, the kids will be taken to a group home, get over there now so we can be ready to take them home!!!

Shit.

Call a taxi, hook up with another family from the hotel and ride the 15 miles to the group home.

By now my emotions and stress levels are so crazy that my body does not even know how to deal.

Oh, wait. The kids won't get here till after midnight. You won't see them tonight, we will try to process them tomorrow, but we can't make any promises.

We go back to the hotel. Nick goes to rent a car. The next morning we take our time because they won't let us see the kids till 10. We meet a lot of other families and head over to the home. As we walk in they are calling our name! Avena's paperwork is processed! Come with us to meet her. Well, actually, come with us so we can show you where to wait!

Finally, the kids start coming in. Talk about crazy and emotional. We are all in a hallway. The kids don't speak english, the families don't really speak creole, and everyone is stressed out to the max! Lots and lots of tears. Avena walked in and her face lit up when she saw us. We hugged and kissed and took pictures and smiled alot!

We had to hang around another hour or two to get the completed paperwork. Avena is the strongest bravest girl I know. She helped take care of all the kids on the plane and at the home. She was the oldest by far, and all the families were counting on her to help calm their kids down and translate for them! She just smiled and smiled.

We agree to stay over another night so all the kids can see each other at the hotel and get some kind of closure. We go back to the hotel with Avena and turn on the disney channel. She watches it all afternoon and laughs and laughs! Her laugh is infectious. We get with the other families, talk, take pictures, and go get something to eat.

Lisa, who is from the Holt and traveled with the kids from Haiti, comes to our room to visit. We get a phone number for a girl that was adopted from the village two years ago and we call her. Avena talks to her for a long time in creole. Her name is Katiana and she is so excited! She gets me on the phone and is just bubbling over with excitement. Wants me to set up an email account for Avena as soon as we get home.

We settle down, get some sleep and head home on Thursday. The flight and the trips to and from the airport are long. I am sure Avena is scared, nervous and exhausted, but she puts on a brave face. She accepts the freitos from the food tray on the plane, but hands Nick the turkey sandwich. He hands her his bag of freitos!

We get home and everyone is very excited. We all hug and introduce Avena. The boys act shy at first. We show Avena her room and let her get settled. I got an email from Katianas mom. She tells me to call if I need anything. She explains how the first weeks are fantastic and awkward all at the same time! Avena follows Taishauna around at first. We spend the afternoon trying to get their room straightened out and put stuff away.

Yesterday we spent the day running around. Taishauna worked and we went shopping for all the stuff Avena needs. Last night I took Taishauna and Avena to a youth group meeting at the UUCMC. It seemed to go well. Avena laughed alot, but she is so tired.

Today we woke up to snow. A lot of snow. The boys started to bundle up to go out and so did Avena! I got her all bundled and she went out and had a snow ball fight with Sammy. Then came in and passed out on the couch!

I am going to try and post alot now so I have a record of her first days. I don't think I did it enough with Johnley.

Perspective

On January 12th we had our first meeting for our new co-op. We had been ice skating the day before and had decided to go every week. Taishauna and I were tossing around ideas on decorating the rooms for when we made the big switch. These were the things that were occupying our mind. Ordinary, everyday things that you think are important.

Then we turned on the news.

At first, there was just a few people talking, speculating really, because no one was there yet. Our first reaction was to go online and see where the earthquake hit in relation to Fontana Village. We couldn't determine if they had been affected.

As we watched the news unfold, the horrors emerged. We were used to the images of a poverty stricken Haiti, but the images of the devastation were beyond anything we had ever seen.

The next morning we received the fantastic news that the kids in the village were not hurt, Monsour's family was okay. We weren't sure if there were any structural damage, but we were so relieved to find out that the kids were okay.

It wasn't until Thursday night that it hit us. There was no way we were going to be able proceed with the adoption because the very courts in Haiti were gone. And if we didn't finish by September, we would not be able to adopt Avena because she would be 16 and unable to be adopted. We spent about 24 hours feeling sick to our stomach.

On Sunday morning, we decided to write a letter. To the president. Of both countries. It had to be the letter to end all letters. We would send it to everyone, everyone. Maybe someone could help us.

By Monday morning we began hearing from our adoption agency. The US govt. had decided to grant humanitarian visas for all adoptions that were already in progress and met certain criteria. We had to get copies of paperwork, scan Nicks passport and email it. Register with the Joint Committee on International Adoptions. We heard back right away and were very encouraged. Then we got an email asking for our copy of the adoptions decree. That we don't have.

We went back to panic for a little while, but then were assured that our case did meet the criteria and we were moving forward. We got our papers all together and submitted them to the Department of Homeland Security.

Then things started moving. Sort of. The adoption agency was sending a flurry of emails everyday. A group from the agency flew to Haiti to help with the kids and help bring them to the Haitian Embassy and set up travel to US. What? When?

Okay, we might want to start painting bedrooms and getting ready!

So the last week has been a little crazy. We've switched bedrooms, painted walls and made room for Avena. We have met with the social worker to update our paperwork. We need to buy clothes for her to wear home from whatever city she flies into.

So the bottom line: Avena is coming home. Soon. We just don't know when. Or where.

This major event is happening to our family a little sooner than expected, but not soon enough. We have been working on this process for two years, but now that it is here we are all wondering what to expect. We have no idea who Avena is. What kind of girl is she? Is she happy to be coming? or sad? Probably both.