I did NOT know

I found this in a book about adopting older kids and I think it is so wonderful, I thought I'd share. Anyone who has adopted older children can totally relate. I have experienced some of these things with Taishauna and some with other foster kids. Some of them just don't apply. I think there are so many assumptions made beforehand that some things really come as a shock to us. Like my friend Roxanne says, "I picture this quiet happy boy who will just sit there with a smile on his face the whole plane ride home!"

I did NOT know that I wouldn't bond the minute I laid eyes on them.
I did NOT know that it would take so darn long to put this many kids to bed.
I did NOT know that some American kids could have ever not had a doughnut.
I did NOT know that I would so resent the best intentions of my friends who have no clue what is going on in my house.
I did NOT know that my other children would accept them before I did.
I did NOT know that I would be so aggravated about giving up my private time.
I did NOT know that a small child could consume so much fruit.
I did NOT know that I would never get the chance to be intimate with their bodies at this age. I wouldn't know each little toe like it was my own.
I did NOT know that I would be so afraid of them.
I did NOT know that I would be angry at my husband because he is not afraid of them.
I did NOT know that social workers could take them away, but if I wanted to give them back that's a whole different story.
I did NOT know that I was crazy not to meet them first.
I did NOT know that I would feel so responsible for them.
I did NOT know that they wouldn't know how to live with a dog.
I did NOT know that I would have to teach the House Rules long after I had actually forgotten what those rules were.
I did NOT know how much all this would cost.
I did NOT know how much people would stare at his disabilities.
I did NOT know that it would be this much trouble to get them enrolled in school.
I did NOT know that social workers leave out crucial details.
I did NOT know that I would doubt myself so much, especially in the middle of the night.
I did NOT know they would be so happy with us.

---Trina, adoptive mother of three --- from the book "Our Own", by Trish Maskew

I came across this from a library book. I had borrowed a number of books on international adoption about six weeks ago and saw a poem that I wanted to use for my announcements. Of course I didn't write it down, so I went to the library today and took out every book on international adoption I could find - and I can't find the poem!!! Oh well, I'll keep looking.