I just found out that a friend has passed away. Lisa Heyman was a wonderful inspiration as a mother and a homeschooler. I met her at the unschooler conference in Peabody at the very beginning of my homeschooling journey. I think because I met her there I didn't realize what a gem she was. I thought she was the norm, but she was actually a leader in the unschooler community.
Her daughter met T and they became instant friends. We hooked up two years ago when they came camping in Allaire, but all the other activities they had going on seemed too far away. Lisa tried again and again to include us in their activities, but it always seemed like too much work.
She was the ultimate unschooler, and her daughters are living proof that it works. She was ill for a while, and finally diagnosed just a few short weeks ago. Her death leaves a huge hole on the unschooling community, and my heart breaks for those two beautiful children.
I obviously regret not joining her events more, and hopefully will learn from my mistakes.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Annoying people
It is amazing to me that who we are at 13, we still are when we are 23, 33, 43. Especially when it comes to family. My god, what was the point of all those years in between?
I actually just deleted a whole post rambling about the same ole shit that I could have easily bitched about 20 years ago. It isn't that other people are doing the same thing, it is that I am reacting to them in the same way. AAAARRRRRRHHHHHHHH!
I'm putting this up for readers of my blog who would not have seen in here first. I don't know if the relevant people will see this, but maybe the same people that are reporting to me will report back to them.
The Bitter Homeschooler's Wish List
By Deborah Markus, from Secular Homeschooling Magazine, Issue #1, Fall 2007
1. Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is — and it is — it's insulting to imply that we're criminals. And if we were criminals, would we admit it?
2. Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.
3. Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize.
4. Don't assume that every homeschooler you meet is homeschooling for the same reasons and in the same way as that one homeschooler you know.
5. If that homeschooler you know is actually someone you saw on TV, either on the news or on a "reality" show, the above goes double.
6. Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.
7. We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we're doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling.
8. Stop assuming all homeschoolers are religious.
9. Stop assuming that if we're religious, we must be homeschooling for religious reasons.
10. We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.
11. Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.
12. If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.
13. Stop assuming that because the word "home" is right there in "homeschool," we never leave the house. We're the ones who go to the amusement parks, museums, and zoos in the middle of the week and in the off-season and laugh at you because you have to go on weekends and holidays when it's crowded and icky.
14. Stop assuming that because the word "school" is right there in homeschool, we must sit around at a desk for six or eight hours every day, just like your kid does. Even if we're into the "school" side of education — and many of us prefer a more organic approach — we can burn through a lot of material a lot more efficiently, because we don't have to gear our lessons to the lowest common denominator.
15. Stop asking, "But what about the Prom?" Even if the idea that my kid might not be able to indulge in a night of over-hyped, over-priced revelry was enough to break my heart, plenty of kids who do go to school don't get to go to the Prom. For all you know, I'm one of them. I might still be bitter about it. So go be shallow somewhere else.
16. Don't ask my kid if she wouldn't rather go to school unless you don't mind if I ask your kid if he wouldn't rather stay home and get some sleep now and then.
17. Stop saying, "Oh, I could never homeschool!" Even if you think it's some kind of compliment, it sounds more like you're horrified. One of these days, I won't bother disagreeing with you any more.
18. If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you're allowed to ask how we'll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can't, thank you for the reassurance that we couldn't possibly do a worse job than your teachers did, and might even do a better one.
19. Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child's teacher as well as her parent. I don't see much difference between bossing my kid around academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.
20. Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet, boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny, or loud because he's homeschooled. It's not fair that all the kids who go to school can be as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of anything but childhood.
21 . Quit assuming that my kid must be some kind of prodigy because she's homeschooled.
22. Quit assuming that I must be some kind of prodigy because I homeschool my kids.
23. Quit assuming that I must be some kind of saint because I homeschool my kids.
24. Stop talking about all the great childhood memories my kids won't get because they don't go to school, unless you want me to start asking about all the not-so-great childhood memories you have because you went to school.
25. Here's a thought: If you can't say something nice about homeschooling, shut up!
I actually just deleted a whole post rambling about the same ole shit that I could have easily bitched about 20 years ago. It isn't that other people are doing the same thing, it is that I am reacting to them in the same way. AAAARRRRRRHHHHHHHH!
I'm putting this up for readers of my blog who would not have seen in here first. I don't know if the relevant people will see this, but maybe the same people that are reporting to me will report back to them.
The Bitter Homeschooler's Wish List
By Deborah Markus, from Secular Homeschooling Magazine, Issue #1, Fall 2007
1. Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is — and it is — it's insulting to imply that we're criminals. And if we were criminals, would we admit it?
2. Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.
3. Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize.
4. Don't assume that every homeschooler you meet is homeschooling for the same reasons and in the same way as that one homeschooler you know.
5. If that homeschooler you know is actually someone you saw on TV, either on the news or on a "reality" show, the above goes double.
6. Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.
7. We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we're doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling.
8. Stop assuming all homeschoolers are religious.
9. Stop assuming that if we're religious, we must be homeschooling for religious reasons.
10. We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.
11. Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.
12. If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.
13. Stop assuming that because the word "home" is right there in "homeschool," we never leave the house. We're the ones who go to the amusement parks, museums, and zoos in the middle of the week and in the off-season and laugh at you because you have to go on weekends and holidays when it's crowded and icky.
14. Stop assuming that because the word "school" is right there in homeschool, we must sit around at a desk for six or eight hours every day, just like your kid does. Even if we're into the "school" side of education — and many of us prefer a more organic approach — we can burn through a lot of material a lot more efficiently, because we don't have to gear our lessons to the lowest common denominator.
15. Stop asking, "But what about the Prom?" Even if the idea that my kid might not be able to indulge in a night of over-hyped, over-priced revelry was enough to break my heart, plenty of kids who do go to school don't get to go to the Prom. For all you know, I'm one of them. I might still be bitter about it. So go be shallow somewhere else.
16. Don't ask my kid if she wouldn't rather go to school unless you don't mind if I ask your kid if he wouldn't rather stay home and get some sleep now and then.
17. Stop saying, "Oh, I could never homeschool!" Even if you think it's some kind of compliment, it sounds more like you're horrified. One of these days, I won't bother disagreeing with you any more.
18. If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you're allowed to ask how we'll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can't, thank you for the reassurance that we couldn't possibly do a worse job than your teachers did, and might even do a better one.
19. Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child's teacher as well as her parent. I don't see much difference between bossing my kid around academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.
20. Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet, boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny, or loud because he's homeschooled. It's not fair that all the kids who go to school can be as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of anything but childhood.
21 . Quit assuming that my kid must be some kind of prodigy because she's homeschooled.
22. Quit assuming that I must be some kind of prodigy because I homeschool my kids.
23. Quit assuming that I must be some kind of saint because I homeschool my kids.
24. Stop talking about all the great childhood memories my kids won't get because they don't go to school, unless you want me to start asking about all the not-so-great childhood memories you have because you went to school.
25. Here's a thought: If you can't say something nice about homeschooling, shut up!
Friday, February 15, 2008
Valentines musings
"I'm not loving you." That was said after story time last night. Someone wanted an extra book, and didn't get one! And in honor of Valentines Day, Sammy threw up last night. alot. a real lot. and it was all PINK. Completely PINK. Cuz we are all about staying on theme! I honestly don't know what it was from. He didn't eat THAT much, and he ate nothing after 2pm, but what ever it was, he felt WONDERFUL after that. It was like all the sickness that had been dogging him for 12 days was GONE, and life was good. He was hungry, wanted his dinner and dessert, and wanted to play. Unfortunately for him, it was bedtime, so all he got was a story! And he passed right out. Johnley, as previously noted, did not, and was not loving me!
He makes me giggle. After we came home yesterday from a valentines party extraordinaire, he emptied his pockets. And he remembered. He remembered how one friend of mommy's had FILLED his pockets with candy because he said he liked her better than mommy's other friend. (There is something wrong with mommy's friends!). Anyway, he realized that he may have possibly hurt the other friend, so he shrugged his shoulders and said "the next time I see her; I will tell her I like her better!" That’s all, we can keep this up for all eternity...no harm, no foul! And meanwhile, LOOK AT ALL THIS CANDY!
He makes me giggle. After we came home yesterday from a valentines party extraordinaire, he emptied his pockets. And he remembered. He remembered how one friend of mommy's had FILLED his pockets with candy because he said he liked her better than mommy's other friend. (There is something wrong with mommy's friends!). Anyway, he realized that he may have possibly hurt the other friend, so he shrugged his shoulders and said "the next time I see her; I will tell her I like her better!" That’s all, we can keep this up for all eternity...no harm, no foul! And meanwhile, LOOK AT ALL THIS CANDY!
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Roots
Sammy is sick again. Again. Ugh! Last night his fever went up to 105. Kinda freaked me out. He woke up at 4 and it was up to 102. He is sleeping on the couch now. Poor guy. I don't understand why he is getting sick all the time. I'm really bummed because I was supposed to go to our first 4-H gathering today AND run the little kids section. I'm gonna see if Nick can stay home, but I'm pretty sure the answer is gonna be no. If Sammy feels better, (like he did yesterday) I will go anyway, but otherwise, I'll just have to pass.
I just watched this amazing program on PBS called African American Lives 2, where historians trace the roots of famous people, to when the slaves where freed. It is some amazing stuff. Alot of people can't know their roots because of slavery, the history is gone forever. And I realize that my kids have the same problem. There is a great chance that they will never be able to trace their family tree. That is sad.
I don't know my family roots. I don't know how far I could go back because my father was adopted. I don't mind that so much, but I wish my parents shared more of their history with me. They probably would have a little, if I had spent a minute acting like I was interested. I think if you found out that your ancestors did something amazing, against all odds, that would empower you to believe that you could overcome hardships.
So the next logical step? Make something up for my children! But I can't even do that. My story would mean nothing because it's not their blood. And what the hell could I say about their birth parents? I couldn't make something up in case they decide to find them when they get older. Hmmm. Maybe I can make up some story about them when they were babies! Like they crawled 10 blocks to get something to eat! Okay, that’s a little sick. Never mind.
And now that I think about it, my mother was German. It would be just my luck to find out something awful about my mothers family. So I wonder if that would affect you, if you find out that one of your ancestors did something horrible.
They asked one of the guests on the show what they loved most about being black, and he answered how much and how hard they love. I have seen first hand the black culture of love and family. There is such a strong sense of community, of female strength, of absolute belief in the church. That is definitely something my children don't have, and that is sad.
I just watched this amazing program on PBS called African American Lives 2, where historians trace the roots of famous people, to when the slaves where freed. It is some amazing stuff. Alot of people can't know their roots because of slavery, the history is gone forever. And I realize that my kids have the same problem. There is a great chance that they will never be able to trace their family tree. That is sad.
I don't know my family roots. I don't know how far I could go back because my father was adopted. I don't mind that so much, but I wish my parents shared more of their history with me. They probably would have a little, if I had spent a minute acting like I was interested. I think if you found out that your ancestors did something amazing, against all odds, that would empower you to believe that you could overcome hardships.
So the next logical step? Make something up for my children! But I can't even do that. My story would mean nothing because it's not their blood. And what the hell could I say about their birth parents? I couldn't make something up in case they decide to find them when they get older. Hmmm. Maybe I can make up some story about them when they were babies! Like they crawled 10 blocks to get something to eat! Okay, that’s a little sick. Never mind.
And now that I think about it, my mother was German. It would be just my luck to find out something awful about my mothers family. So I wonder if that would affect you, if you find out that one of your ancestors did something horrible.
They asked one of the guests on the show what they loved most about being black, and he answered how much and how hard they love. I have seen first hand the black culture of love and family. There is such a strong sense of community, of female strength, of absolute belief in the church. That is definitely something my children don't have, and that is sad.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Great day!
Go Giants! Whodathunk??? Of course, the most fun are the commercials. A bunch of us, including T and her cousins, were betting on the commercials. You know, if the next one was going to be for a car, or a shipping company, etc. That was fun. I think Jack was the big winner, although Joe brought all the change, so its not like any of us got rich.
Anyway, as expected, the highlight of the night was the nerf gun. Or should I say, the most unbelievable, awesome, amazing, gigantic weapon of all time. I swear, I haven't seen Nick smile like that for a long time. Not even for the LSU parephenalia he got from me to celebrate his beloved tigers National Championship. And he wasn't alone. Bill looked at Erin and said, "Thats what I want for my birthday!"
So it was a grateful day, with a huge gun!
Anyway, as expected, the highlight of the night was the nerf gun. Or should I say, the most unbelievable, awesome, amazing, gigantic weapon of all time. I swear, I haven't seen Nick smile like that for a long time. Not even for the LSU parephenalia he got from me to celebrate his beloved tigers National Championship. And he wasn't alone. Bill looked at Erin and said, "Thats what I want for my birthday!"
So it was a grateful day, with a huge gun!
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Brudder
We are hearing the word 'brudder' around here alot. The two of them seem to be trying it out. The other day they were doing this thing where one would lay on the floor, the other would help him up, and the one would say, "Thank you, brudder." Too cute.
Yesterday it was all about ganging up on daddy. Of course, you have to gang up on daddy, because daddy doesn't play fair. The boys got nerf guns from Joe for xmas, and they usually end up with daddy having one, and the kids having one. So first daddy just keeps all the bullets they shoot, so then they're screwed. Then the kids start doing that, and daddy goes and gets the bag of bullets off the top of the fridge (that he stashed there). The kids don't care; they now believe whoever ends up with the most bullets wins! This all involves lots of screaming and running around. It is really hard not to get caught up with nerf guns, and more often than not, you will see T running around with one. But inevitably the boys will be a team, brudder with brudder.
Johnley is so confused, poor thing. He doesn't exactly know what a mom is, or does. Last night he didn't want to go to bed and he said he was mad at me. I was getting ready to read their story and Sammy was lying next to me. Johnley wanted Sammy to be mad at me, too. Cuz they're brudders. It was as if he needed someone to always be on his side and he is trying to figure out who it is. It dawned on me that he doesn't really understand a mothers love, he doesn’t' get that it doesn't go away, ever. I'm gonna have to work on that. He did tell me (as he climbed into bed) that he was my friend, so that's something.
Today we are having a Daddy b'day/Pre-superbowl party. Nicks b'day isn't for a few days, but I like to celebrate b'days with Joe's kids as much as possible. And I say Pre-superbowl because we will be in bed before the superbowl even starts, practically. The good news is Joe bought Nick nerf guns, so this should be a very interesting evening!
As an aside, I am having the most fun with the sneaky chef. The kids are loving the food, mostly. I hid yams and carrots in the spag. sauce last night, had it with whole wheat pasta, and the kids gobbled it up. T had the meatballs, with spinach hidden in them (and she loved them), but the boys wouldn't eat them. They didn't even taste them, tho, so it wasn't the spinach. Anyway, they have all asked for another batch of the breakfast cookies, which just have wholewheat cereal and whole wheat flour. We were eating them the other day, and my friend R started to ask for one, and then remembered that I was doing this and wouldn't even try one....chicken! I haven't made the brownies yet, but I think I might try them on Joe's kids tonight. They HATE veggies!
Yesterday it was all about ganging up on daddy. Of course, you have to gang up on daddy, because daddy doesn't play fair. The boys got nerf guns from Joe for xmas, and they usually end up with daddy having one, and the kids having one. So first daddy just keeps all the bullets they shoot, so then they're screwed. Then the kids start doing that, and daddy goes and gets the bag of bullets off the top of the fridge (that he stashed there). The kids don't care; they now believe whoever ends up with the most bullets wins! This all involves lots of screaming and running around. It is really hard not to get caught up with nerf guns, and more often than not, you will see T running around with one. But inevitably the boys will be a team, brudder with brudder.
Johnley is so confused, poor thing. He doesn't exactly know what a mom is, or does. Last night he didn't want to go to bed and he said he was mad at me. I was getting ready to read their story and Sammy was lying next to me. Johnley wanted Sammy to be mad at me, too. Cuz they're brudders. It was as if he needed someone to always be on his side and he is trying to figure out who it is. It dawned on me that he doesn't really understand a mothers love, he doesn’t' get that it doesn't go away, ever. I'm gonna have to work on that. He did tell me (as he climbed into bed) that he was my friend, so that's something.
Today we are having a Daddy b'day/Pre-superbowl party. Nicks b'day isn't for a few days, but I like to celebrate b'days with Joe's kids as much as possible. And I say Pre-superbowl because we will be in bed before the superbowl even starts, practically. The good news is Joe bought Nick nerf guns, so this should be a very interesting evening!
As an aside, I am having the most fun with the sneaky chef. The kids are loving the food, mostly. I hid yams and carrots in the spag. sauce last night, had it with whole wheat pasta, and the kids gobbled it up. T had the meatballs, with spinach hidden in them (and she loved them), but the boys wouldn't eat them. They didn't even taste them, tho, so it wasn't the spinach. Anyway, they have all asked for another batch of the breakfast cookies, which just have wholewheat cereal and whole wheat flour. We were eating them the other day, and my friend R started to ask for one, and then remembered that I was doing this and wouldn't even try one....chicken! I haven't made the brownies yet, but I think I might try them on Joe's kids tonight. They HATE veggies!
Friday, February 1, 2008
New beds, new kids, new activities.
I am buying a king size bed. Thats it, I can't take anymore. Last night I got up and went into Johnley's bed. Sammy found me, but it still wasn't as crowded as my bed! So this weekend, we are going to purchase one.
So the social worker came today and talked to us about Aveena (thats her name), and tried to scare us. She told us that she may not take to being in a family and that she is so used to taking care of kids and cleaning and cooking she may not want to stop. All I heard was "SHE WANTS TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS! SHE WANTS TO CLEAN YOUR HOUSE!" So I told the social worker that even though it would be hard, I was willing to sacrafice for the greater good! No seriously, we are going ahead. Of course we found out that we need a whole new homestudy and it will most likely take two years, but what are you gonna do.
We went swimming today with the homeschoolers. We so didn't want to go because of the rain, but I am so glad we did, we had a blast.
So here are some more pictures...
This is what my kids look like by the time we get home on Wednesday...
This is the cake I made for Jimmy. Don't ask me what it is, I just know that it is the undead from World or Warcraft.
And this is a picture of T's $5000 smile....
So the social worker came today and talked to us about Aveena (thats her name), and tried to scare us. She told us that she may not take to being in a family and that she is so used to taking care of kids and cleaning and cooking she may not want to stop. All I heard was "SHE WANTS TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS! SHE WANTS TO CLEAN YOUR HOUSE!" So I told the social worker that even though it would be hard, I was willing to sacrafice for the greater good! No seriously, we are going ahead. Of course we found out that we need a whole new homestudy and it will most likely take two years, but what are you gonna do.
We went swimming today with the homeschoolers. We so didn't want to go because of the rain, but I am so glad we did, we had a blast.
So here are some more pictures...
This is what my kids look like by the time we get home on Wednesday...
This is the cake I made for Jimmy. Don't ask me what it is, I just know that it is the undead from World or Warcraft.
And this is a picture of T's $5000 smile....
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